Knew it wasn't easy

Even the simpliest of actions can cut me so deeply, cast doubts so boundless, evoke emotions so rending.

I've gone back into a state of passiveness once again, a sleeping beast stayed by a crumbling defense. Awakened by the slightest agitation, by the unintentional stray thought which plagues me so.

Always hiding behind the mask of this, never rearing the face which resides. Streching towards but never seeing the light again. Darkness envelops. Reality ensues around me, the piss filled cot bed awaits. The figurative ends and its time to sleep with a heart filled with questions and regrets. And of a glimmer of happiness which I always have. Cause that, makes it all worthwhile.



Even though I may find someone new and get married years down the road, I'd always look back. You'll always be the first, the greatest and the one I've seen most potential with. That'll never change. Nothing will. I wont. The fact that I'm still stuck in camp either.

I love this post ^^